This week, as I approach the big 6-0, I have been thinking a lot about Nudie and about the role of flamboyance in old age. As far as I am concerned, there are no limits on how show-bizzy or gangsta one’s outer garments might become. However, when it comes to undergarments I am still trying to find a path. Should I switch up from the Calvin Klein tighty-whities I have worn for as long as I can remember? Should I go conceptual avant-garde and snag some of Mitt’s mysterious Mormon encasements? What would Nudie have done? Might snakeskin thongs and banana-hammocks and bedazzled budgie-smugglers provide a more life-enhancing option?
During my childhood, old people never wore groovy underwear. My grandpa wore thick, scratchy long-johns year-round and my granny wore monstrous prewar bloomers. Her undies were so allure-free and utilitarian that they would have made Bridget Jones’ gym knickers look like burlesque enticements from Frederick’s of Hollywood.
Whence comes my gruesome familiarity with the undies of my grandparents? Truth be told, I was traumatized by them on a daily basis. A cursory glance at the washing line in our backyard revealed the truth about the foundation garments of our entire household. My sister and I were merciless in our critiques. My granny got sick of us mocking her billowing bloomers and sneakily started drying them in the airless attic. We responded by unpinning them and dropping them out of the top floor window onto the wearer’s befuddled head.
Right before filing this column, I had a breakthrough of sorts. I located a company specializing in sassy humor undies for seniors. (Check out the Sexy Old Buzzard boxer briefs.) The styles are basic and chic, and the messages that adorn the garments are quite amusing. My one reservation is the type size. The current scale would send the average senior scrambling for those bifocals in order to read it. Not very romantic, right?
Ain't just a term in football. The rates in Tennessee, and actually all over, should be better. From The Tennessean. College completion rates in Tennessee unacceptable, report says
While state efforts have helped boost college readiness and access to higher education, college completion rates remain “unacceptably low,” according to a report released Wednesday.
On average, less than 45 percent of students at Tennessee two- and four-year public colleges complete their degrees, according to Complete Tennessee’s “Room to Grow” report.
The low completion rates — Tennessee ranks 38th in the nation in public university graduation rates and 40th in community college graduation rates — could have repercussions for students and employers.
Students who don’t complete their college degrees are more likely to incur debt and have lower salaries and a lower quality of life, said Kenyetta Lovett, executive director of Complete Tennessee, a non-profit focused on increasing postsecondary access a…